daisies-in-the-wind

Sleepless Nights

Days and days of insomnia
They come and go like the clouds
I’ve tried to stop my mind but it’s a universe of its own kind
I think and I think about days gone by
Days to come
I think of the present too but only as a result of the past or an impression of the future
Counting sheep is futile
Counting stars too
The moon is almost never on my side
Sleep is something I dream comes from the sky
From anywhere outside my mind
When I sleep my dreams are waking me up
Either with excitement or horror
I trained my mind to tame its instability
I’m taming my sleep and its fragility
with soft melodies
Ethereal sounds
Of rain
Songs of love And of pain

The perfect slumber has kind of become a fairy tale now
Once I was cloaked in perfume
I can’t remember which one
I remember it was like a bed of lavender

A little bit of wine
And the strong inebriating fragrance of neroli
And heady jasmine too
Carrying me to childhood carefree naps on balmy afternoons

Now the midnight interludes are spent waiting for sleep to take over

If I could drift Into a peaceful siesta
I would have more to give
More zest for life

The shadows emerge at night
And I wish they would go anywhere
Anywhere but here
For now I just breathe in the perfume and hope it gets to my head.

-Anshudha Garimella

The Artists and The Rain

Oh! How I would like the stars, the lovers of passion, the creators of art
I sit and I read the words of the poets and the writers who never found happiness
Those miserable men with disenchanted wives, those promising women competing with each other all their lives
I think of those men who find happiness in a whiskey
All those women who no matter what they do
Are not taken seriously
I read the lyrical prose of the disillusioned man
The painful words of a sad, misunderstood woman
And all I can say is I hope that’s not me
The fear of being beautiful and damned haunts me
I try to do something else, something mundane, something less meaningful to me
I sit in crowded bars and I feel The silence, the silence screaming so loud
I’m surrounded by people
Yet I feel alone
It’s like I’m a bird singing some other song
People often tell me my notes are wrong
I keep thinking of those who were never found never heard, never seen, it’s almost like they didn’t exist
But they do to me
I don’t want to be
Like all those beautiful people, with beautiful words, singing about their beautiful world who were never heard
They are like shooting stars
They are here and now they have vanished
Just as easily as we breathe
The stories of disenchantment and glamour always enamour me
But just a story that’s what I want it to be
I could do something else with my life you see
But there’s nothing in conformity for me
I wanted to break away
And break away I did
I also broke apart for a little bit
That’s the price you have to pay to be a free bird
But now that all the melancholy is gone
I sit and I watch the rain
I feel a sense of renaissance
Its the damp leaves, no it’s the fresh air, maybe it’s the soft wind in my hair
Or it’s the petrichor
On the ground
So lucky I am to have found
Such a love, from the trees that surround me
The people around me
Yet I imagine myself like those beautiful and the damned
What will it take for me to feel
This is not all there is, this is not all there will be
I can be happy I can be free
I can be Like those birds
A soaring sparrow I’m meant to be
They were born free but so was I
So what is it that keeps me here tonight
In this grey state of mind?

By Anshudha Garimella

Listen to this audio poem 😀

Poem-Sea, Sun and Freedom

It’s just If I could sit on the beach and watch the day turn to night
Maybe everything will be alright
If I could spend an eternity listening to the crashing waves
Maybe I could drown out the noise
And if I could sail the ocean till the ends of the earth
Maybe I would forget all that, that hurts
Maybe I need to get away from everything mostly myself

I wanna be where the rivers meet
Where the sky changes hues
And the waters are the most beautiful shade of blue
The sun will be so orange, blinding bright and then warm and soft diving into the sea
The shade of pink and violet, dripping in the sky like watercolours painting a twilight
I can’t hold this feeling tight
Like everything that shines it must fade
Nothing bright can last
Then again if it did it wouldn’t mean as much would it?
There’s the beauty in its fleeting moment

I’ve been singing the same old song
The melody is getting so irrelevant
But the words still hurt
Every time the darkness takes over my mind
I go back in time
Mostly to places I no longer like
I’m tired and jaded
I need a boat, that probably won’t make it to shore
I want to be a part of those drifting waves
They are reborn again and again and again
Always getting a chance to redefine their movement
They get to be who they want
Never the same as the last

Corals, seaweed take me there
Under the burning sun of August
Or a fresh morning under the sky of May
I feel so free when I’m surrounded by the sources
I’m one of them and they show me the electric touch of the forces
They get to be who they want
Never caring about the past

I want real happiness, real love
Where there is no fear of the storm
No worries about the end of the world

I can no longer hide my disdain
Hide my tears or my pain
I want to be everywhere
I want to be Everything
Who I want
Never again care about what’s past.

-Anshudha Garimella

Focus on some good things today!

Everything these days is very unnerving, scary and anxious. And while it is important to be aware of these feelings and important to feel them. It can get so overwhelming to read everything that is going on and find yourself in a downward spiral of fear and sadness.

Our fear isn’t going to help to make the situation better. Precaution and safety will.

But at the same time it is important to re-shift the focus and give yourself a little break, give yourself a little calmness, laughter and joy. You deserve it.

Obviously this is not to say that ignore everything but maybe press a snooze for a little while to re-focus on other things for the sake of your mental health and wellbeing.

The anxiety and fear isn’t going anywhere but happiness does go away with fear.

So here are a few things you can do today to just be- calm and still.

Meditate- Meditate anywhere, anytime, anyway you’d like. Just for 5 minutes.
If possible leave your phone alone for an hour and do something else, anything, reading, singing, painting, gardening.
Watch something hilarious- a comedy movie or anything that will bring a smile to your face.
Tell yourself that you are not alone in this.
Do one thing today that brings you the most joy in life.

Along with your physical wellbeing take care of your mind too.

Be safe, Wear a mask, Take precautions, Take care and Try to remain calm.

-AG

Siesta

My heart breaks a little bit everyday
Disintegrating into more and more pieces
The weather is fine and so am I
Then sun still shines and people smile sometimes
The moon is in the right place
The emptiness is full of mystery in space
Yet my heart sheds a tear
I always think of my fear
There is a revolution in the morning
A painful sadness at night
There is so much suffering in the world
So much hatred on this earth
Sometimes I feel we don’t even deserve the poetry
We don’t deserve the shade of the trees
We don’t deserve the soft wind or the beautiful nights
I don’t either but that’s all I care about these days
When the alarms break the silence at dawn I want to disappear like the morning mist
I want to be in a lush field that grows countless daisies

When I hear the beginning of a cry
Or when I see the first tear
I know it’s gonna turn into a river
I want to listen I care I really do I want to be the shoulder to lean on for whoever wants to cry
But I’m too tired- for, my tears have become the sea
I have drowned in my sadness and somehow managed to survive
I just wanna sail away I wanna fly away
I wanna be on that mountain where no one is standing right now
I want to be in those lavender fields
Lying down, slowly falling asleep tenderly drifting into my dreams
Getting high on a sweet perfume
I want to be a melody
I need the romance that makes one forget that there is a world out of the
Beautiful embrace of love
But can I just turn off my heart for a little bit
Turn off my mind for a little bit
I need a break I need a siesta I know you do too
But oh please let me be
That wavering wave
I’m closing my eyes now
Just for now

Poem- White Blank Page

I write because there is no better listener
Than a blank page
It takes in and understands the things
Even I don’t
It carries the unrelated words
Turns them into stream of consciousness
It does nothing more than crease
Flipping memories and pain with ease
At my whim
It leaks stains of tears and ink
And when I’m done with it
It will only exist
If I keep it
There are so many words I’ve written
That even I dare not read again
They’re like knives, blades painted flashbacks
They’re better off in the dark
But I can’t take back what I said
Especially because I meant them
White blank pages heard me when no one ever did
And that’s why I keep them close with me

I write because there’s no one to listen
Truly listen
There are words I wrote which turn light to dark
They talk about my desires, my dreams
My happiness and the screams
The screams I couldn’t find a voice for

I wrote down the words to give power to my dreams
And to take the power away from my fears

I wrote down every cruel thing ever said to me
To erase their effect on me

I wrote down everything I am
And everything I want to be
Every place I’ve travelled
Every space in between
Those pages carry the spirit of who I am
And who I’m going to be
No one could ever listen this intently.

by Anshudha Garimella

5 Positive Poems to read today

Here are a few poems to uplift your mood.

Should you need some tender words to show you some beauty you have forgotten about.

Check out these beautiful words of poetry.

Ah! Sun-flower – William Blake

Ah Sun-flower! weary of time,
Who countest the steps of the Sun:
Seeking after that sweet golden clime
Where the travellers journey is done.

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art – John Keats

The moving waters at their priestlike task
         Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
         Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—
No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,

Stanzas (Oh, come to me in dreams, my love!) – Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

Oh, come to me in dreams, my love!
I will not ask a dearer bliss;
Come with the starry beams, my love,
And press mine eyelids with thy kiss.

Love’s Good-Morrow – Thomas Heywood

Pack, clouds away! and welcome day!
With night we banish sorrow;
Sweet air, blow soft, mount larks aloft
To give my love good-morrow!
Wings from the wind to please her mind,
Notes from the lark I’ll borrow;

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love – Christopher Marlowe

And I will make thee beds of Roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of Myrtle;

Featured Image: Free Images from Canva

Reveries #3: Cottagecore Escape

This following reverie is inspired by the cottagecore aesthetic. Take a trip through your mind to the idyllic cottages standing in the midst of spring.

Note: Imagine yourself as the ‘I’ in the story.

Mood Board made with Canva with some pictures taken by me and some free images on Canva.

I’ve been here for just a moment, but I feel at home. There is a quaint and beautiful cottage that sits in a garden flourishing a breath of spring. Wisteria cascades down the roof. The garden looks like a canvas where several colours have been dropped from the sky by the ever-glowing strokes of sunshine. The spring air used its brush ever so gently to place every tiny little flower in the right place.

Lilacs bloom, daisies are in the wind, roses are in full bloom, daffodils too. I tread lightly on this ground stepping on the pearls of morning dew sitting atop the fresh grass. This is what I miss when I’m chasing all the frivolous things in life that like everyone else I will never stop chasing, but right now nothing is more important than this heaven on earth. And of course heaven is always on Earth.

The cottage here is a little haven of solitude, interlude and tranquility. The white drapes lining the windows sway so gently, moved by the delicate breath of spring. The white drapes gently filter the sunshine and let it light up the room.

The windchimes by the window harmonize with the birds. It is so ethereal to be in wind.

And by the window sill there are birds who come and go as they please and sing several melodies for me.

I often wondered if no one was to ever see me here even if for a moment what is it that I would do? I would sing and dance and write a thousand poems about roses.

I would play soft chords and sing songs of love, I would dance around because there is no rush. The colour has come back in a thousand shades of Spring, and when the night falls everything will be violet, dark but not sad.

Now the night has arrived and I walk through each room of this cottage to light the candles and turn on the lamps. I can almost hear the soft evening breeze if I don’t make a sound and stay still. As the night gets darker the crickets sing and the fireflies light up the dark.

My day is over as I fall asleep gently in the cottage that sits in the middle of Spring.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.

-Anshudha Garimella

Reading poetry can positively impact your mental health.

Note: The views expressed in this post are mine and my intention is just to share them to provide an add-on to the journey of self betterment. To provide something you can try. This is not to say that any of this should be used as a replacement for actual medical help. So, if you are struggling with your mental health please consult a mental health professional.

There are moments sometimes when we feel low and no matter what we do that sinking feeling won’t go away. Now you may be working on yourself diligently, taking care of yourself, of your body and your mind but even with all of the good habits sometimes we feel drained by the natural course of everyday life, worries, fears, anxieties or something said or done by someone.

This is unfortunately inescapable. It is not like there is a portal that we can just step into that takes us to a magic land. But in a way there is.

We can always improve things with the power of imagination. Because, when we imagine something good, we feel good and motivated, to then achieve our dreams and goals. But, it is much harder to do that when we fee tired, upset and demotivated. When we feel this way we feel powerless- in moments like these we need to be reminded that we are not powerless.

It is sometimes difficult to even give yourself a pep-talk, so, in moments like those I turn to poetry.

And it is my belief that poetry has had a great, beneficial impact on my life. When I would feel anxious I would write poetry. Reading poetry offers a dive into the world of aesthetics, imagination, meaning, rhyme, philosophy and emotions.

It makes us follow the course of language and paints a thousand images with the words.

I feel that poetry is a true form of aesthetics and we all need a little poetry in life. To get lost into and also to guide us.

Furthermore, poetry can improve your expression, encourage you to be more expressive, improve your language, vocabulary and the way you see life. This way we can understand our feelings/needs better and learn how to communicate them.

For poets everything has a meaning and often they try to find beauty in everything.

If we can find beauty in everything- even in the mundane then we can have greater appreciation for beauty and as a result we will be able to enjoy life more and attract beauty into our lives.

Because if we focus on beauty and positivity we can change our minds and learn how to better understand our minds and how to deal with our emotions in a creative, healthy and beneficial way.

What’s more you don’t have to try and decode each poetic device in the poem. You don’t have to read a long, perplexing poem, you don’t even have to pay attention to understanding it. Just pick any poem no matter how short or simple it may be just focus on the words and expression and by doing that your mind will understand the poem in its unique way. And you will grow as a person.

Little by little you can read more obscure poems and expand your mind.

I hope you liked reading this post. Take care and let me know in the comments about your favourite poems.

Thanks

Anshudha

Rituals for Spring

It’s been a cold year and I don’t mean just in temperature. And even though things still seem uncertain, it will still benefit us to learn from this change in season. Springtime.

Spring is a time for rebirth, a renaissance, a fresh start, a time to turn over a new leaf quite literally. Spring is the most hopeful season because after a jaded winter we can see the change, the shift, the rebirth, the growth with our own eyes.

Here are some rituals for Spring.

Write down all the ways in which you can be a better version of yourself. Maybe you want to get fit, eat healthier, change your lifestyle, be calmer, learn a new language, instrument, skill, whatever it may be. Now it your time- a new dawn, you can be reborn, change for the better or bloom into something new.
It’s finally time to shed the past, completely even the remnants from your mind. Remove all old ways of thinking and anything that doesn’t serve you in a good way needs to be a thing of the past.
Bring in some colour into your life, these can be changes in your clothing, adding colourful things to your room, Just having pastels to look at can brighten up your mood and welcome a more playful and vibrant energy into your space.

Get some flowers. Get a small plant that you can care for. Flowers add beauty to the space also, having nature around you is always a positive idea. Having a plant near you is not just positive but healthy, it gives you more awareness and respect for life and living things.
Take a walk outside and observe the change, observe the change in the wind, feel the change of temperature, it is warmer, the wind is softer, the sun is beginning to shine. Watch the trees start to revive, what kind of flowers are growing and which are beginning to grow, notice the flower buds and notice the sky. All of the change or the beginning of the change (depending on where you are in the world) will inspire you to move forward with your life. It will send good vibrations to you and remind you that there is always a fresh start.

Que serais-je sans toi? – Poems and Reveries